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So. How’ve you been?

I haven’t been up to much in the last year or so.

Except that I finally finished working on and reworking my novel, Out of Order. Topquark Press published it as a Kindle edition at the end of July. We then decided to do it as a trade paperback for, as Sally Tessio would say, “old times’ sake.” So naturally I got a chance to do more editing. The paperback was released this past March (The Kindle version was updated, as well.) The official publication date is given as January, 2012.

When first conceived (let’s just say a while back), the book’s title was The Co-op Murders. As lovely a tease as it was, the title was a tad misleading.

Yes, the story contains a couple of gruesome homicides, and a fair smattering of other antisocial actions. But the book really looks at the glories of human nature — especially when viewed through the prisms of those fabulous crazy-makers, co-op life and New York City. Out of Order takes place in a co-op apartment house, located in Brooklyn’s Prospect Heights neighborhood.

Oddly enough, I lived in a Prospect Heights co-op apartment house. And I even served on the Board for a while. I finally left board service when I realized the board could screw up as well without me as it could with me. (Actually, subsequent boards did quite well without me. I suppose I should be highly insulted but I’ll be all right.)

Co-op life is a splendid concept. It’s all about sharing and having control over how and where you live, and building something valuable for yourself and others. It’s just that the reality sometimes feels pettier and nastier. This can occur in a food co-op where some members are determined to exert influence over geo-political conundrums. It can occur in co-op apartment buildings where fights over lobby decorations can culminate in a touch of arson.

Such world-view clashes not only take place in co-ops; but in condo associations, as well. At the time of this writing, there is a struggle over whether it’s okay to grow your preferred flowers on the lawn in front of your home. There are questions as to whether it’s kosher to hang a mezuzah on your doorway. And there are other lofty incentives for blood feuds.

For that matter, you don’t have to be a co-op or condo resident to know that the term boardmember does not always invite veneration, respect or even safe conduct. There are opportunities for conflict among all sorts of boards. It’s really quite beautiful when you think about it. Whether ignoble or altruistic, life affirming or utterly crass, a board will find members clashing over the tiniest policy detail and go utterly bonkers in full view of the world.

Which brings us back to the title, Out of Order. Any of its three meanings are particularly apt. It refers to malfunctioning machinery (and/or people), inappropriate behavior, and the intricacies of parliamentary procedure.

Roberts' Rules of Order is all about the choreography of who gets to speak when and what reasons are sufficient to interrupt and what level of importance each reason has. I happen to believe —and I know I’m 100% wrong — that “Rules of Order” were codified so that a gentleman could finish his speech without having to engage in swordplay with some other gentleman who had an urgent need to make a point.

Still looking at board meetings today. . .